Does this behavior seem unusual to you?

I have a coworker whose father died a few days ago. Even though she seems upset sometimes, I kind of wonder about certain behaviors of hers. For instance, our boss%26#039;s aunt was kind enough to make a beautiful arrangement of fresh roses and tiger lilies for her father%26#039;s funeral. However, my coworker thought that the flowers were so pretty that she decided to keep them for herself! Not only that, but she even offered each of us a flower or two from the arrangement. I don%26#039;t know what it%26#039;s like to lose a parent and I know that everyone grieves differently, but I can%26#039;t help but think that if I had lost a parent, I wouldn%26#039;t be in the mood to give away flowers. Not only that, but I almost feel that it%26#039;s somewhat disrespectful to the boss%26#039;s aunt for my coworker to keep the flowers that were given to her as a gift for her father%26#039;s funeral and then give away some of them! What do you think?

Does this behavior seem unusual to you?
You are lucky in the you have not lost a parent, or a parent that is close to being lost. I think that it may be her way of thanking those for caring and supporting her in this time of need. A piece so to say of her father, and his memory. Myself would be grateful that my daughter would have thought of me so highly, when I am dead flowers mean nothing to me, they only mean something to those that are still around. She was sharing a memory, in hopes that the flowers would symbolize her appreciation of her fellow workers.
Reply:The flowers were a gift to your coworker. After my mother%26#039;s funeral, we were told to take all the flowers home with us. I don%26#039;t know if this is the policy for all funeral homes. However, since the flowers were a gift to your coworker, the flowers belong to her and she has a right to do whatever she wants to with them. Giving them away is her way of grieving. Why don%26#039;t you ask her why she did that. Don%26#039;t ask her in an accusing way, like she did something wrong. Tell her that you think it was a beautiful gesture %26amp; were just wondering what motivated her.





I think it was an awesome thing for her to do, and I will remember to do that in the future when I have to attend the funeral of a loved one.





If your bosses aunt feels offended by your coworkers generosity by wanting to share her flowers with people she cares about, then the bosses aunt doesn%26#039;t get it either.





A gift is something we give away. All of our rights to what is done with the gift, after we give it away, are off limits, they%26#039;re over; we no longer have rights to determine the destiny of the gift. It%26#039;s none of our business. To care about something so petty is just wasted, negative energy.
Reply:You%26#039;re right, maybe she%26#039;s grieving in her own way. She must be sad, but doesn%26#039;t want her emotions to get in the way of the rest of the employees. She may be putting on a mask so you don%26#039;t worry about her. Talk to her and see how she%26#039;s feeling.
Reply:Oh my, it%26#039;s very unusual to horde the flowers designated for the funeral. But in my experience, it%26#039;s best to withhold judgment about anything people do in the immediate aftermath of a death. People are often not quite themselves.
Reply:Most everybody I know keeps the flowers from their family%26#039;s funeral. I think it was thoughtful and must have been meaningful for her to share these beautiful flowers.





Have you ever giggled during church or a funeral? It%26#039;s funny how we react during emotional/stressful times. (kudos to the boss%26#039; aunt for the arrangement! She must be a sweet lady!)
Reply:I think you are very judgemental.
Reply:Your co-worker probably is expressing grief in her own way...albeit a bit strangely! We all tend to get at least a little irrational when we lose someone close to us...when my younger sister gets stressed out, she is prone to laughing fits...she laughed hysterically though my grandmother%26#039;s funeral.





Your co-worker might have wanted to share the flowers with everyone...in my family, it%26#039;s pretty much tradition to take a flower from the arrangements at the funeral.





I think that it probably was somewhat disrespectful to use the flowers to give away when they were intended for someone else, but I would guess that the person who gave them to her probably understood what she was going through.
Reply:I agree, i lost my father and believe me i still havent got over it and he died in 1991, that is disrespectful, but your right everyone is different, even though i have never ever known anyone do that.


just goes to show how we are all individual.


Gilly x
Reply:You said yourself, we do all grieve in different ways....maybe she was so taken by the flowers your boss`s aunt sent she wanted to share the sentiment with you all????....I really can`t speak for her as I haven`t lost a parent either....I do think in some sort of way it was a nice gesture in her mind....maybe she will regret it someday, but, I think at the time she made the decision it was the right call to make for her....when we are upset our minds wander all over....support her and try to be there for her as i`me sure any friend would.
Reply:This is a form of respect for her father to share, and for her to give any flowers away is a form of honor.
Reply:i think it is a case of mentally sickness
Reply:Well, considering that her father is not around to enjoy the flowers, what is she supposed to do with them? I hope your boss%26#039;s aunt is understanding enough to know that your coworker appreciated her gesture. Our emotions work in a myriad of ways and it is hard to judge someone%26#039;s personal sense of grief, especially if it doesn%26#039;t do anyone any harm.
Reply:i dont think thats unusual, someones going to have to take the flowers after the funeral, i think she might have just been being nice, that story sounded pretty normal to me. of course shes upset about her father dying but she was only offering flowers, im sure the situation is fine
Reply:I used to think making funerals a social event was bordering on being sacrilegious but I%26#039;ve since learned it%26#039;s more a celebration of the life the living still have. I think her sharing the flowers was more of a generous gesture rather than to have them thrown in the garbage following the funeral. Look at it more like a sharing and enjoyment of life - as we still have it.
Reply:When my father died everyone in the family took home a plant and a rose from his coffin. I still don%26#039;t understand the logic or reasoning of this, but I can tell you it wasn%26#039;t done to disrespect anyone who offered the plants and flowers at his funeral. I think it was a way to show we all appreciated him during life and we all were grieving over the loss. When someone you love dies you aren%26#039;t in your best frame of mind anyways. Maybe she is having a hard time accepting the death and she wanted others to show they cared about her grief by accepting the flowers. Its hard to say, but I definately wouldn%26#039;t judge her for her reasoning at this point and time. Maybe she doesn%26#039;t like your boss and she felt it was hypocritical for her to buy flowers so she wanted to get rid of them. I know I would have been pissed if my ex-boss would have sent flowers to my fathers funeral. I would have burned them. : )
Reply:It is unusual behavior, but I wonder if her grief over her father%26#039;s death is real or, just an act??!!!


Though it is certainly disrespect-full and not to mention inconsiderate for such behavior to re-gift what has been already contributed as a gift of respect and sympathy.



visual arts