Are these definitions funny or true?

Consciousness - the time between naps.








Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn%26#039;t make the money you did.








Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.








Justice - a decision in your favor.








Paradox - two physicians.








Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.








Flattery - an insult in gift wrapping.











Alimony - the cost of loving.








Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.








Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.








Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.








Diplomacy is the art of saying %26quot;nice doggy%26quot; until you can find a rock.








A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.








A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that%26#039;s scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.

Are these definitions funny or true?
Hi Ducky,


Hahahahahaha..You made me laugh and the last one is PRICELESS My Friend.. Big Star for you..


A Friend,


poppy1
Reply:The last one about a born loser is very funny ha ha ha !!
Reply:the born loser...hahahaha!! thanx!!
Reply:Sad but true ha ha ha ...thanks for the giggle
Reply:ha ha ha funny


thanks for a laugh
Reply:Cracked me up! Especially the last one! Have a star!
Reply:Very good they gave me a laugh thanks!
Reply:LOL!! The last one was the best one.
Reply:VERY FUNNY


i think impeccable was the best!!
Reply:thanks for making me laugh !



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