Very sad moment....?

A little girl I know passed away yesterday. I need to know if it's appropriate to take my daughters to her funeral (my daughter and the little girl were on the same t-ball team..also my daughter is in the same class as the girls brother). Also, should I bring flowers or just have them sent?

Very sad moment....?
Its a tough call. It would depend on how close they were. I would definitely talk to them about it honestly, but I may only take the six year old. I might even ask them if they want to go. Death is such an abstract idea for all of us, the way children handle it differes from child to child. They may wonder when they may die because of her death.





It would allow for a good discussion on death, but if there is fear, no, but sadness would not be a bad thing for your children, but a learning experience about life. I would definitely take your six year old.
Reply:dont take the kids, send or take flowers or money or food or all three. u can go but not the kids. they dont need that stress.so stay sweet and safe.
Reply:If you feel they can handle it emotionally and if they want to go, I would say take them. So sorry to hear that.
Reply:Call a florist and have the flowers delivered.





You are the only one that knows whether your girls might be able to handle the funeral. If they can sit through a church service then they can sit through a funeral, although I would be hesitant to take them to a child's funeral as the mourners are sometimes very emotional and your daughters might be a bit traumatized by the experience. You can't predict how others will behave, so leaving the girls at home and going alone might be best.
Reply:this depends on how you think this would effect your daughters emotionaly not their behaviour you know them better than anyne else. generally i would say you should bring them otherwise they will look back on this when they are older wishing they had been there. and bring the flowers!! you should also talk to your daughters about how they feel about this and if they want to go and respect that
Reply:My grand-daughters are 7 and 4 and I'd have a real problem taking them to a funeral. Are you ready to explain death to them,especially if they see their little friend in a casket? If you do attend the funeral-sending flowers would be much better.


Could you tell us what you decide and how things work out? I'd be interested to hear about it.
Reply:If your kids knew the litttle girl well, then yes, you could take them to the visitation, but not the funeral at the gravesite, and I would not personally take them to the funeral, that is usually reserved for close friends and family.


And send the flowers to the funeral home, in time for the visitation. Taking them is not good, then the family is stuck dealing with them, at a time when they are probably doing well to just function.A nice card sent to the house would be fine, too.
Reply:I imagine other little ones might be there too. It is good for them to go to view this little girl. So they can know how to close the door to this chapter of that little girls life. Too often parents do not let their children attend these things..but because this was their friend....the final goodbye should be


said.Then encourage your children by letting them know they still have to get on with "their "lives now.May God Bless
Reply:Personally, I would not take your young children to a funeral unless it was for a close family member. Although it is you choice in the end, I wouldn't take them no matter how well behaved they are. Instead of attending, you could have them make pictures and cards to send to the family. A simple flower arrangement could be sent or a sympathy card. Good luck!
Reply:Mourning is one of the worst effects on youngs children. But you can't just act like it didn't happen. You need to let the other family know that you care. You also need to make sure that your daughters know that they shouldn't mention it to the girl's brother.(I'm sure they're not going to though.) You should bring the flowers. If you send them they will think you are trying to avoid them. You should also go because the family of this little girl need comforting. If I had a little girl, and then she moved on, I don't know what I'd do. You need to take all these answers into consideration. If you need help on what to take to the funeral, e-mail me and I'd always be willing to help another person.
Reply:I think because they are so young, and the little girl was so young, it's probably not appropriate to bring them. I have been to A LOT of wakes and funerals, since a very, very, young age...and I truly don't think I would be able to deal with seeing someone my age in a casket.





Also, you don't bring flowers to a wake, you can have them sent to the funeral home, or you can send a plant or fruit basket to the parent's home.
Reply:Make sure they can take the sight her body and everything. I would not let them in for the fact they would have nightmares about it. But be sure to give your regards.
Reply:I think that I would set down and talk to them first to see if they wanted to go.Tell them a little about death and then ask if they want to go.
Reply:I'm very sorry for the grief you must be feeling. I think I would first ask the parents of the child that died what they would like, and then talk to your kids and tell them what a funeral is about, and then ask them if they would like to go. Since you have two kids, you're probably aware that kids are often smarter and more aware than we give them credit for.





If you bring flowers rather than send them, give them to the funeral director, not the family, who will be busy with their grief and greeting their guests.
Reply:I know I would take them if it were a close family memeber, like a grandfather. But at their age, with the little girl close to their ages, this might be too much for them to absorb. And you don't want them being afraid all the time. You didn't say how or why the little girl died, I think knowing the circumstance would help in answering. If it was illness, your children may be afraid of getting sick, if accident, they may become more careful themselves. But your the parent(?), you know them best, and it's really your call. If you take them, plan ahead how you will answer all their questions, they're young, keep it simple and whatever you do don't lie! And I would have the flowers sent, the florist will have them appropriately displayed before viewing so no one has to be bothering with it wwhen you arrive. It will be difficult enough for all just being there.
Reply:Funerals are like births , A natural part of life. Would you take your daughters to a hospital to see a new born? The answer is yes. It is a happy occasion. You probably had to answer some questions about life and babies.





The same goes for a funeral. It is a sad moment to lose someone but you can't hide that part for ever. At 4 and 6 , the little one may not understand but the 6 year old will have questions. Just dont make up any answers, if you dont know say so. its ok.





I would not take them to the burial only the funeral service.
Reply:When a very close friend of ours died, my daughter, who was 7 wanted to see the person. I took her to the viewing, but not the funeral. Mind you, this was an old woman, not a child. You know your children better than anyone. My daughter dealt with the finalness of the old woman, but I don't think she could have handled seeing a child.
Reply:Send the flowers, much better and I agree how very sad. No worries about your own daughters; they are attending the funeral of a contemporary. I'm sure there will be other children there as well.
Reply:4 and 6 is too young to process such a thing, in my opinion...You can talk to them and do something special for their friend, but taking them to the funeral is questionable at best (to me).
Reply::(( i would not take kids they are young for that hopefully school offers counseling and maybe a mem service wo body


Send flowers they arrange them there or make donation to charty in liue of flowers.
Reply:Only if you feel they can handle this complex realization. My grandmother passed away when I was that age and the reality of it did not sink in at the time. I am apprehensive when the deceased is in the same age group. It is important to show her family that you care, however.
Reply:I'm sorry to hear that. Send the flowers. As far as your kids going, I would talk to the other mothers to see if they are bringing their kids. Maybe you could organize something for all the kids who knew her to say goodbye; such as sending balloons to heaven, or planting flowers in her name.
Reply:I'm sadden to hear of this young childs death. I do think that you should take your children to the funeral, so they learn early that part of life is death. And so your daughters can also say their last good-byes and also pay tribute to her life. And then this is a great time to ask your daughters if they have any questions about death and you can address their questions before the funeral. And this will also open up the communications with bigger topics as they get older.





You should send flowers and also plan on sending a nice hot meal for the family during the week.





Funerals are sad, but they are also a time to celebrate the life of the person who has passed on.





My thoughts are with you, and the young little lady's family.



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