Decorating a grave site?

I was wondering what sort of things other people have left on their loved ones' graves, and also how often they visit.


I have recently discovered the death of a once close friend of mine who committed suicide 5 months ago, and unfortunately I have missed out on his funeral and burial. Yet, I feel like I need to make up for everything I have missed. So far I have visited my friend's grave twice and have brought a fresh batch of flowers. Besides the flowers I brought there is also a pot plant there. Most of the other graves look the same but there are others covered by things ranging from pot plants to pebbles, to statues..etc.

Decorating a grave site?
dude do what is best for your friend ship


ps sorry for the loss
Reply:Lil things that he would have liked!





I'm really sorry for your loss!
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss.





Before leaving anything check with the cemetery.


Sometimes they have guidelines about what can be there due to mowing/landscaping concerns. For example, our family cememtery does not allow artificial flowers from April to October because of the mower.





I visit my family's graves as often as my emotions will allow.


One time my MIL went with me. She clipped all of the roses off her rosebush and we spread the rose petals on the graves. It was beautiful.
Reply:This will only work if you do it early, but my FIL was buried in a cemetary that did not allow plantings. Sod was placed on the grave (it was fall), and we pulled it back about a month after it was put down (in November), and planted crocuses ALL over it. They bloom all over the grave in spring, and by the time the grass actually starts growing, and the mowers come out, the blooms are done. It's been blooming profusely every spring for 15 years now.





(I know this won't help you with your issue, as it's not crocus planting time, but it may be an idea for other readers)
Reply:It depeneds on what he liked. If he liked cars put toy cars, etc.
Reply:Most people bring fresh flowers. Some leave plastic bunches, to extend the time their offering remains viable. No one can tell you what is proper to leave at a grave site, anymore than anyone can tell you what is a proper gift. Every situation is different. However, I kind of look at the grave site almost in the same way as a romantic gift. The flowers that you bring hold more of a symbolic and sentimental quality, than a purely rationale descision. They main difference is that you wont get them thrown back in your face, hence the proliferance of plastic flowers.IMO, the leaving of objects should be limited to a personal connection with the deceased. A pebble should be from a beach you were both at...ect. Or a gift bestowed on you by or admired by the deceased... you get the picture. I'm not a pshychatrist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night...You are feeling guilty for the time you have lost with your freind, and probably have inklings that MAYBE, if you had been close near the end, (in other words, IF YOU HAD BEEN THERE FOR HIM, maybe .... you could have done something.) While it's possible, it's not too likely, my best friend committed suicide and I had NO idea it was coming the day before. You see it all the time- Rich , sucessfull, loved, on top of the world... ROCK star- put a gun to the head and pull the trigger. Sorry to go on so long, but I think what you really need is closure, and self- forgiveness for not being there for your friend, not a gift sugesstion that will make it all go away. But, hey, what do I know, if I was so smart, why couldn't I save my friend? Bring what makes you feel good- I don't think he cares anymore.



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