Could she have lost her mind?

My aunt died of a stroke six days ago. The funeral was today. Her daughter, my cousin loved her a great deal. When my uncle called her to tell her the bad news, she came home immediatley but never acted upset or shed a tear. My whole family came together to make arrangements, and there were some heavy moments when everyone was a mess with emotion, but not her. I asked her if she needed a hug or to talk but she resisted kindly. She seemed almost oblivious to the fact that her mother was dead. Her actions were quite odd; she was calm and collected during the wake, and the next day for the funeral mass she was pleasant even though it was cold and pouring rain. I stuck by her all through the ceremony. It wasn't until we all laid flowers on my Aunt's casket that she began to laugh. It wasn't just laughing-it turned to uncontrolable sobs and heaves. It's like she just cracked and lost it. I drove her home after the episode and she laid down. Should I take her to a doctor? I am very worried!

Could she have lost her mind?
It wouldnt hurt to take her to the Dr.


She held it in when she couldnt handle it and it took its toll on her. She might need some medication, but let the Dr decide that.
Reply:People deal differenty with stress, grief, and loss. I would keep tabs on your cousin, maybe invite her to stay a while.





I didnt cry at my grandpa's funeral- I laughed, too. Within an hour I was joyfully playing pool downstairs with my own cousins.





But everyone deals different.
Reply:I think she was either in major denial or she was trying to hold it together till everyone went home after the services. I don't imagine she has had much time to herself this week.





The doctor would be able to get her a presciption to help her out for now and then recommend grief conseling.





Sorry for your loss.
Reply:She probably did have a nervous breakdown. Your cousin was concentrating on giving your aunt a dignified farewell. She didn't have time to reflect on her feelings or let the reality set in. I didn't cry until the wake of my father's funeral. The best thing you can do for your cousin is be available. I would wait a week or so, then give her a call and take her out to eat. Only time and care will help her get through this. I don't think a Dr. needs to intervene unless her she is sooo sad that she can't get through her day. If you see weight loss/gain, anti-social behavior, thoughts of suicide, get help immediately. I am sooo sorry to hear about your families loss.
Reply:Poor girl, it hit her at the end of the day. She'll be alright, she sounds very strong. But maybe the doctor can give her a sedative, something to relax her if she keeps having these spells. Your mother passing away is a big blow to a person. I have always hoped that I outllive my children. Check on her and be a friend to her. God Bless you both.
Reply:I am sorry for your family and I can understand the actions of your cousin in her grief very, very well. I didn't go to South Korea to be with the rest of my family in escorting my daughter's remains back to California. I didn't attend my sister's funeral either. I totally just "lost it" after all the family deaths that I experienced in just 3-years and 8-months . . . 10 (ten) in all. Please understand that we all grieve differently . . . Actually, while I was attending my mother's funeral, my daughter died from a brain tumor, within a week after her being diagnosed. No matter what it appears on the surface, it may be total turmoil inside. Make sure that you never turn your back on your cousin. You must love her or else you would not care to ask this question.
Reply:well i think it would be a good idea especially becuz she was laughing before she started sobbing uncontrollably. maybe ask the doc if theres any medication she could be put on for a while for her nerves...poor thing. im so sorry for you and your family. god be with you.
Reply:Everyone grieves in different ways. It probably took until the time you laid flowers on the casket that it sunk in. Laughing isn't an uncommon response. I remember at one time I went to a friend's funeral and had one random thought that sent me into hysterics during the funeral. My thought was "Thank God he lost his virginity first!" The whole thing was completely inappropriate but unbidden. It was the start of my grieving process for that friend.





I would suggest you keep an eye on her. If she starts to have total disregard for herself or others, there may be something more serious going on with her. But from your description, she'll be alright. She'll just need to mourn in her own time, in her own way.
Reply:oh no hun, ive experianced it, when you start laughing its usually when you have just faced a moment in your life when you think "i did not expect this, not now, not now..." ive had it before, ive done the exact same thing as her. she is fine, yes she had a tragic episode, but after a few months it will be like that day never happed





1. Denial and Isolation. - "she resisted kindly. She seemed almost oblivious to the fact that her mother was dead"


2. Anger. - "I stuck by her all through the ceremony" you probably made her push out of denial and u angered her because now it isnt a dream


3. Bargaining. - begging and pleading to god for various emotional problems


4. Depression. - insane bawling, sometimes laughter


5. Acceptance. - i wish ur cuz the best
Reply:Everyone grieves differently. I think she either was just really trying to hold it together and couldn't or she just realized it wasn't a dream and was really happening.


See how she is when she wakes up. If she is still acting strangely, then I'd suggest a counselor or psychiatrist to help her get through this time.
Reply:I don't think you should worry unless she shows signs of being suicidal. People have different ways of showing their emotions. As long as she isn't doing any physical harm to herself I wouldn't worry about it. Just try to be there for her as much as you can.
Reply:Not meaning to sound arguementative here but think of her point of view:


imagine if your mother died.


you wouldn't know what to think would you?





I think that she needs some time to return to normal and time to grieve. She's not losing her mind
Reply:Yes, she could be suffering from a very bad mental break down. At least have her see a counselor.
Reply:evrybody acts diffrent to a loss it will take time for her to get over this just make sure shes got plenty of support from others around her but if you are really worried about her do seek advice from a speacilist
Reply:No, she hasn't lost her mind. She just has a different way of dealing with loss. When you saw her finally letting out her emotions, it scared you, but I'm sure it helped her. Just make sure she knows she's not alone and keep a watchful eye just in case; if she were ever to need professional help.
Reply:DONT TAKE THE POOR KID TO A DOCTOR...! its called trama...(sry for ur loss bi the way)...anywayz she was trying to be strong for her mom and cracked. I know from experience...a dr. isnt going to do anything....if anything try a like pshycologist...for kids :)
Reply:She is mourning the death of her mother. There is no such thing as an abnormal reaction (unless she is trying to hurt herself or others).





Just keep an eye on her. This is probably the greatest loss she has suffered so far and it will take some time to deal with it.
Reply:I'd wait to see what happens. If she continues to act like this take her to a theropist or someone who specializes in that.
Reply:I'm sure right now is just a very difficult time for her and the pain has yet to sink into her right now, or it has sunk in and she doesn't know how to show it!!! Just give her a couple of weeks and make sure to pay close attention to what she is doing, if things don't get better or they get worse, ask her if she wants to talk to somebody to get some things off her chest!! When someone dies of a stroke, it's unexpected so just give her time and the support she needs and she will pull through!!
Reply:She was in shock for a while, is why she was acting so calm and collected. When they laid the flowers down was when it actually hit her. This is normal. Don't take her to a doctor and stress her out even more. Just be there for her. She needs time to mourn.
Reply:Temporarily, she might have. Just be there for her and help her out as she comes to terms with this crushing grief. Let her talk and cry and get it out. She needs time. If she gets worse, then you might want to get her to a doctor. In the meantime, just let her mourn. I bet she'll be fine.
Reply:She's grieving differently It's very normal, I dont' cry when people die, I just like to be left alone....to deal with it myself
Reply:death isn't easy for anyone to deal with, and some people handle it differently. Maybe it didn't actually hit her until she layed the flowers down, and she just lost it. Give her time to mourn...if anything, ask her if she wants you to get her some anti anxiety pills from her dr. to help her relax. otheriwse, just let her cry and deal with it her own way...
Reply:She was trying to be cool about it.Some people just react that way.If she hasn't had problems in the past,she should be fine.If you can ,someone should sit with her a while to be sure she is ok.With some people it takes a while for the death to hit them.I think she was trying to hide her pain and appear strong. Best of luck to you and my condolences to you and your family.
Reply:We all deal with our grief in different ways. When my mother was brutally murdered, I held together okay on the outside but I was like in a walking coma. My body functioned but my mind was turned off. I stayed like that for over a year. Please watch her. Maybe after a while she will come out of it on her own and come back to life. But she may need help dealing with her grief. Since you know her you will be able to notice the changes in her. Being a loving support right now is a big help. She is blessed to have family in her time of loss.
Reply:I can see where you would be worried, but give it some time. She could just be getting over the loss in her own way. But if this behavior continues over the next couple weeks, you might want to refer her to counseling.





By the way, I am sorry for your loss. Good luck.
Reply:All people handle death differently. I do and most people don't understand me. I am okay....not crazy. Give her time. I am sure this was sudden and with all the work to make arrangments didn't allow her to really feel anything, until then. I would keep in touch with her. You will be able to tell the weeks to come if she needs help.
Reply:I wouldn't take her to the doctors. Everyone deals with pain and loss in different ways. She just chose to 'breakdown' at the funeral. Just try to be there for her as much as you can, and as much as she wants you to be. Every one needs a shoulder to lean on when dealing with something like this.
Reply:If it continues call a psychiatrist but if it is just a week it might be OK because people deal with grief in many different ways so don't worry unless it's a long time.
Reply:everyone has their own way of dealing with grief and the sudden trauma of losing someone they loved dearly. she may have been thinking of some happy moments she had with her. grief is not only saddness, it's a whole mix of emotions. she might be laughing today, the next, she might be crying the whole day.





and it takes time. you can't expect your daughter to accept the loss right away or in a couple of days. she can take all the time she needs to deal with her emotions and loss. just try to be supportive by letting her know that you'll always be there whenever she needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on.
Reply:no, she's not sick.





there are stages that people go through after a loved one is lost





1. denial (thats why she was calm)


2. frustration (people keep asking her if she needs a hand, but to her nothing is wrong)


3. grief (the uncontrollable laughter, crying, sobs)


4. after a long time, acceptance








she WILL get better, its ok. she's in my prayers, along with her mother



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