NASCAR Driver's Wife's Birthday Wish?

This NASCAR Driver and his wife were deciding if he was going to get a airplane to fly to the races or she was going to get a new car. He knew that he should, because his airplane just wasn't fast enough. They had several discussions over the last few months.





One day his wife said "Honey, my birthday is coming up and it would be very nice if you would surprise me. What I really need is a nice sports car that will do 0 to 200 in six seconds ."





He thought long and hard on this. So for her birthday he gave her some bathroom scales.





The funeral is going to be this Friday at 10 o'clock at Baca's Funeral Home. It will be a closed casket due to the condition of the body. In lieu of flowers, please send your money to the Battered Husband Fund.

NASCAR Driver's Wife's Birthday Wish?
You told that one wrong... it's supposed to be "I need something that will do 0-200 in six seconds"... nothing about a sports car. But other than that this has been one of my favorite jokes.
Reply:That one is old as dirt but you just changed up the people in it.
Reply:Redneck humor. I like it. :P





I live in Talladega country, so I'm allowed to say that. :)
Reply:You Know you are a NASCAR Fan if...








You can't balance your checkbook, but CAN explain the point system.





You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just an attempt to get fuel into the pickup.





When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel.


The second thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.





Every time you rotate your tires at home you put the stop watch to it and record the time and try to better it next time.





You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!





If you were Rusty you would have just gone when the other light turned yellow!





You know you're a Rusty Wallace fan if you go on green and cop pulls you over for going too soon on the green.





You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.





On an Interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPMs up.





You try the left foot braking method and kiss the windshield.





You get away from a Lowe's delivery truck as quickly as possible.





You make sure to stay under 55 as you leave the gas pumps.





You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"








You paint a large 3 on the side of your 74 camaro.
Reply:Think I would have sabotoged his car, make sure he LOST everyrace. Killing him would be to easy.
Reply:Another good one. Keep them coming.
Reply:that is hilarious........i like it
Reply:Nice%26lt;3



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