How do i found out how my mum died?

Complecated please read...





my mum died 4 months ago and because I wasn't close to the family I actually found out by my neice through a myspace message.





She was a terrible mother who chose her pervert of a husband over her own flesh and blood...this was the reason for us not being close.


But I would still like answers...as I have children that may need to know one day.





Her dad had seen the death obitury in the newspaper so he knows as much as me regarding her death.





She was married but her husband wasn't mentioned which is odd...nor can I get hold of him by phone so I presume he's no longer living there.





The obitury said she had already picked her flowers and that she had died peacefully...but I need to know how she died.





Ive phoned the funeral directors that was used but they can't help me.





Can anyone please help me decide which route to take in finding how my mum died?





Many thanks xxx

How do i found out how my mum died?
The hospital or morgue might have a record.
Reply:First, I am very sorry for your loss. Terrible or not she was your mom and that has to be very hard for you. The death certificate will have a cause of death on it. As her child you have a legal right to that information. On it will be the medical examiners info. You are also legally entitled to their report. (I am assuming that all states are the same.) I know because I did this to get the information on the death of my daughters biological father, even thou we were never married I had a legal right to this information on my daughters behalf. If I can help, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck!
Reply:if she picked her own flowers then it means she was ill and was expecting to die.


she would have been getting hospital treatment, so couldnt you contact the hostipol she might have been staying at and find out through them. chances are she would have been treated at a hospital close to her home.





other than that the only thing i can suggest isask your neice about her death.. if she knew she died then she must have answers.
Reply:Go to the hospital where she died and speak to the attending Physician, as a family member you do have the legal right to know the cause of death as well as anything they or any other Physician she consulted about her medical condition.





When alive a physician can not tell a non-family member without the written consent of the patient. For family members all physicians need is verbal consent. If the patient is unconcious, the need for verbal consent is not needed and immediate family are automatically informed. After death any immediate family member is entitled by law to know about any medical information that Physicians have on file. I know this from personal experience with the death of one of my parents. My Mom refused to tell me what was wrong with her when she was alive, but I asked for an appointment with her Physician after her death and was given her full medical history. There will be no problem in finding out.





Petermull's suggestion while it will work, the information will be a checked off box. There is a list of causes "natural causes" "trauma from an accident" etc and that's all.





But if you want some advice, it's not usually a good idea. There is an old saying that is very wise, "Let bygones be bygones." Or leave the past in the past.





I think what you are feeling is remorse over your Mom's death. When someone leaves an abusive parent or a parent who chose their abusive husband over protecting their children and then when that parent dies, it leaves the child feeling empty.





The death closes the door finally on hearing that the parent was sorry for what they did. You can now never here that she was sorry for what happened.





An abused child can be 90 years old but down deep inside every day they still ask the question, why? They still don't understand how their parent could do that to them and the longing to be loved by their parent never ends. The pain of that reality never ends It's hard wired into every human being.





No one knows why some parents are destructive to their children but from what I have observed in life, an abused child revisiting the past after the death of their parent will likely do more harm than good.





You might wish to speak to a grief counsellor before going down this road. Your Mom made hurtful choices and the best way to help your children is to get some counselling for yourself to help heal the hurt.





You have my sincere condolences on your loss.
Reply:Are you in the UK - if so, there will be a copy of her death certificate on register. Try the Registrar of Deaths, Births and Marriages in the town where she lived.





I found a web site in the US which seems to give online information - link below.





I hope that helps.





M
Reply:Secure a copy of the death certificate.
Reply:Ask the morgue for an autopsy report and also try and get a hold of her death certificate





They will more than likely ask for proof of your identity and prove that you are infact her daughter so take your birth certificate and passport with you to the morgue.





Good luck and hope you find out.
Reply:hi Hun...first off id like to say how sorry i am that you have lost your mother,even though you drifted apart but i can understand why you need to know so that you can move on with your life,i think your best bet is to contact a solicitor and try and get them to contact the funeral directors to find out where her body came from..was it her house or hospital..if hospital then they will have information as to how she died as they would of done a autopsy,with your own solicitor on the case you can do this legally and not get doors shut in your face before you even start.


i wish you well and let me know how you get on please...
Reply:Go to the county medical examiner's office with proof of I.D. if she was brought to mortuary.





If she died in a hospital go there, speak to the social work or social services department and see if they may be able to expedite the hospital system for you. At least you might find out why she was admitted.





Another option is to ask you grandfather to try and find out because of their relationship.





Some of your curiosity may also be a way to work out some closure for yourself regarding this awkward and difficult relationship.





I hope you find peace.
Reply:go to the city police and get a police report you may have to pay 15 or more dollars. so sorry for your lost even more sorry that you lost her before she died.
Reply:As a close relative, you will be able to get a copy of the death certificate which will, of course, list the cause of death. Which country are you in?
Reply:applying for a death certificate wont tell you how she died, it will just tell you when she died. you best route i think would be to find out (if you can) what hospital she might have been taken to, or possibly her doctors if you know what surname she was using. you shouldnt have to go into too many details, but as you are just wanting to know how she died her doctors should have this information on their final records, as should the hospital.....good luck with your search, i hope it brings you some kind of peace
Reply:apply for her death crtificate.
Reply:I am sorry she did that too you. Some victims of child abuse and neglect need the closure. Chances are if she picked her flowers she had an extended illness and prepared. As her child you are entiltled to all that information and apply for the death certificate..maybe go visit her grave. Also check if she had a will..if she included you you should have been notified. Something seems odd here.
Reply:the freedom of information act 1982....... if in australia....... get down to a government dept, of somesort, or a courthouse, and talk to a judge, or a solicitor, or your lawyer, or someone in the legal system......due to the freedom of information act, that is in place in what ever country your in, you are able to find these things out, however depending how much you want to find out, there may be some legal stuff you need to go through..... hope that helped..... and sorry for your situation, i do not envy you.....
Reply:apply for her death certificate
Reply:Ask your niece explain to her,


or apply for the death certificate.


Deepest Symapthy.



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