Sign at Railroad Station
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted."
Rest Stop in Wisconsin
"Do not eat urinal cakes."
At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
--Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices, and workmanship."
At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends."
On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."
In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
And one for Valentine's Day
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs
Silly signs????
Thank you, I love getting up and finding things like this. A shrink years ago suggested that everyone read the funny's in the newspaper every morning. He said studies had found people who started their days with a laugh, had lower blood pressure, was less likely to have a heart attack that day, less likely to have a stroke that day. Was more pleasant to work for on that day, and more likely to get more work done. Children who read them or even had them read to them had better results on tests and we less likey to fight with sibblings.
I have tried to to that every day, some days I don't and I always wonder if I was more of a grump that day? Thank you again for starting my day off with a good laugh.
Reply:These are hilarious, hair blow driers, do not use when showering, Do not pass when there is on coming traffic, at a restaurant and gas station in Indiana, Eat here and get gas.
Reply:Very funny. I have seen a beauty salon called "Curl Up and Dye". I don't know if this fits into your category, but I think it is a good name for a shop.
Reply:on the back of peters sausage company truck
sausage eaters prefer peters
Reply:Those are funny!
Here is one:
Funeral arrangement discounts
Only walk-ins may apply.
Reply:At the Gilroy Ca. Hi-way 101 truck weigh station, they have large signs on the closed truck bay doors. STOP DO NOT ENTER UNTIL DOOR IS OPENED..
Reply:i like the one i saw in your part of country "live boiled crayfish"!!! also the only place i saw signs for "convent store"!!!
Reply:Good ones, ROTFLMAO
Reply:hahahaha! that was great! thanx for my laugh 4 today!
Reply:thanks for sharing. I like the VAlentine's one!
Reply:I love those silly signs. good job Sid
Reply:the best!rofl
Reply:Thank you so much, those were very funny. Good to laugh.
Reply:Thanks I love these.
Reply:Sid, those were a hoot. It makes you wonder why someone would even consider eating a urinal cake? Only in Wisconsin . . . I can say that since that's where I live!
These remind me of an ad I saw in the yellow pages promoting the phone company. It just happened to be on the page with the funeral home listings. It read: "Miss the ones you love, reach them with long distance."
Thanks for the laugh!
Reply:I like those. I don't recall the man's name, but there is a sign (if you will) hanging on the wall in the court house in Hugo, Oklahoma on the second floor to the right as soon as you are at the top of the stairs that has "(his name), died during erection (date he died)." What it is really saying is he died during the erection of the building of the court house. They just worded it wrong. I was told about it by my ex-father in law as he lives there in Hugo. One day while we were there visiting, he took us there to see the sign. I wished a 1,000 times that I had taken a picture of that.
Soles
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