Saturday, July 25, 2009

Death of previous boss?

Hi





I just received a phone call from a colleague who told me that my previous boss died very suddenly and that his funeral is tomorrow. He was a great man to work for and my reasons for leaving were not because of the company.





I will attend the funeral tomorrow.





I have not been to a funeral in about 10 years and this is going to be a HUGE affair in the city's major cathedral. Do you think I should be buying flowers and having them sent to his wife (who I only met a few times) given that she will have no doubt received a house full by now, or write her a card telling her how much I though of her husband?





Also, do you think I should sit with my former work colleagues at the funeral or sit quietly at the back?





Thanks

Death of previous boss?
Buy a card and write a three or four sentence paragraph on how much you enjoyed working for her husband and how sorry you are for her loss. It's a lovely gesture, and she'll treasure and appreciate it forever.





You should sit quietly by yourself (not necessarily in the back), unless one of your former colleagues sees you and invites you to sit with them. After all, this is not a reunion, and you will probably have a chance to greet them after the service and share your sorrow with them.
Reply:I would go for a letter put inside a card. A letter seems a lot more personal, rather than a card that already has a message in it. I would also sit with your former co-workers. Having his co-workers there shows how special of a boss he really was, that his subordinates would take time out of their life for his funeral.
Reply:You could buy a plant and attach a card telling her who you are and what a good man he was to work for....a plant will last longer than flowers, or send a small food arrangement with a card. It would be up to you if you sit with former co-workers or not, if you were a on good terms with them it shouldnt be a problem.
Reply:It's a nice idea to write out a card for the widow, with personal comments on how you felt about her husband as your boss. Maybe chip in with the others for flowers and have them sent to the funeral home. You'll probably feel more comfortable sitting with former workmates.
Reply:I think that a personal note is way going to be better than flowers, flowers die and have to be thrown out but a note can be saved forever and can be a fond memory for his wife.


I think you should sit where you feel comfortable, if you still get along with your old colleagues then do so, if you didn't leave on good terms or didn't get along with them then don't. I think you shouldn't try to sit in the back unless you want to feel like you shouldn't be there, but you should be there, so there is no reason to sit in the back.
Reply:I'd go for the card.





If it were me I would try to sit with my former colleagues. I would want to be with people I knew who knew me.





If there is a Rosary or viewing prior to the main funeral service, you should try to attend and express any personal feelings through either the guest book or in person to the relatives of your late former boss.



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