Can someone help please? We saw this movie just to when the flowers were placed in the water with the snakes after the funeral. I just need to know. Many thanks -
I Dreamed of Africa - help please, we did not tape the end?
You are a pot-bellied smart-mouth river rat!
Shoes
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Do you ever get tired of giving out shower gifts?
I am 29, so I have attended too many wedding/baby/engagement showers/parties in the past 10 years. I have recently stopped giving gifts and I have stopped going. I have NEVER received gifts for anything. My fiance passed away a little over a year ago....not only did nobody in my family or my friends send flowers, but they didn't even bother to come to the funeral. How awful. Now people give me the 3rd degree when I don't go to their showers/weddings or buy them gifts. Anybody else get tired of giving out gifts and going to showers, and never getting anything in return?
Do you ever get tired of giving out shower gifts?
First I am sorry for the loss of your fiance and I am sorry you were treated this way by people. Bridal Showers and weddings have become very commercialized and a money pit meaning you put so much money into it it can engulf or close in on you.
You are NOT obligated to buy anyone a gift that is a CHOICE not a demand and no one as the right to ask you for anything how cheesy is that?
My niece got married in June and I am only on one income and no I have not gotten her a wedding gift because I cant afford it now she will get one when my husband and I are more situated not a moment sooner.
It is no body's business whether you choose to give or not.
Don't let anyone give you a guilt trip over it. The younger generation that is getting married feel a sense of entitlement that is not your problem. Thank you for posting we all need to be reminded that Life or people don't owe any of us a thing.
Reply:yes , get tired also ,, and sorry about your fiance too. It seems like thats the only time when people remember your phone number or address,, Im like you quit going ,,,
Reply:I am so so sorry about your fiance. I think you have been used by many so called friends. Try to be more particular with whom you spend time from now on and if they , as you say, give you the third degree do not dignify that with any response . I find showers so so boring watching people open presents. I rarely go but do send a gift if it is a good friend. Otherwise i send only a card with best wishes ( most people) which is all one need do if one is not going.
Reply:I typically enjoy the showers and parties, and I try to give a good gift... but what I am most tired of is people EXPECTING things like that. Just because you are invited to a shower, they shouldnt automatically expect you to go... much less expect a gift from you. I agree that some people just get a little greedy during certain times because they expect gifts... "oh if I get $100 for my birthday, I'll get 5 times that much for my wedding!"... which is completely rude.
No matter what, you dont deserve to get the "3rd degree" for not showing... and if you do go, no one should saying ANYTHING about not getting a gift.
Reply:I'm sorry about the loss of your fiance. And I'm very sorry that your friends and family didn't send flowers or come to the funeral. I don't think that you sound bitter. It is natural to make the kind of comparison that you are making - that you're giving a lot of gifts and not getting anything in return.
But I can tell you that this kind of thing sort of waxes and wanes through your life. I got married at a very young age, and then had a baby six months later. So I was kind of the designated poor person in both my family and my husband's family, so had many showers and received many wedding and baby gifts. Throughout my twenties then, I felt kind of like I should reciprocate by giving lots of showers myself, which I did.
Now I'm in my fifties and sort of in the second wave. The children of our contemporaries, and our children's friends are now doing the wedding and baby thing. But in between my twenties and my fifties, I didn't do a whole lot of showers.
To be objective about it, you didn't get married, and it sounds like you haven't had a child, so that's why you haven't been the recipient of the shower thing. But be realistic. It's probably coming up for you in the near future.
I think that showers can be a lot of fun. You see a lot of people that you might not ordinarily see. I think it's fun to see what people brought as gifts. And they usually serve wine.
If you're not finding them to be fun right now, it's probably because you are still grieving. Take a break from them, but keep an open mind. You might decide that you want to start going to them again.
Reply:No, I don't. I love showers, and being able to be in on the celebrations for the brides! Giving gifts is from the heart, and one shouldn't be doing it in expectation of a return to yourself!
Sorry about your fiance, it must have been devastating...
Reply:No I love to shop.
Reply:Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your partner. I am sorry for your loss.
I typically only get shower invitations for close friends, so it's not a problem for me. However, in my (small, rural) hometown, people go absolutely nuts with showers. They invite every female wedding guest to bridal showers. A good friend of mine recently had over 300 people invited to her wedding shower when she had only asked for about 25 people. no kidding. I'm very glad I'm getting married 300 miles away!
People there feel the need to invite everyone who could possibly know the bride, groom, expectant mother, or any of their friends or family members. If they don't invite all those people, many of them get upset about it. However, I think it's obnoxious to invite everyone you know to a shower. I know that my Mom gets really tired of getting invitations to showers for people she barely knows.
If you're not close to the person getting married/having a baby, you are not obligated to attend the shower. Send a 'congratulations' card and wish 'em well.
Reply:No I am not
Your situation is tragic but why are you punishing other people. Ultimatley that only hurts you.
THe gift is supposed to represent your joy that they have found happiness.
What they did to you was wrong-did you express your feelings about this to anyone. I had a friend whose wedding was canceled the week before her marriage who didnt return the gifts that she received at her bridal shower. I thought she should have but I wasnt mad that she didnt. I havent been married and dont have any children so I havent received any gifts either-when my dad comes if I do I do and if idont i dont.
This will not impact me as I will not allow others to steal my
joy!
I hope this helps you even if you dont agree with it
Reply:I'm not tired of it, but then again I didn't go through what you've gone through. I'm so sorry about your loss. It's horrible your so-called friends and family are giving you a hard time about gifts and attending weddings instead of being there for you.
Reply:My gosh how sad regarding your fiancee.
I'm also 29 and I only have one girlfriend who's in her 30s and no longer planning to get married (she hasn't dated in years). As one who never understood the point of showers and social female gatherings, I would not subject myself to going to such parties - in fact, at my own wedding I chose not to have a bridal shower because I find them so loathesome.
Regardless of what others may say, if you don't feel comfortable going to such events, do not ever feel obligated.
Reply:you will find your gifts here
http://www.paintyourlife.com
Reply:sorry about your fiance, but you sound really bitter!
time to grow up!
Reply:Yes, I've been to 3 baby showers this year and 1 wedding. I have another baby shower next month...my aunt's.
Reply:My sympathy for your loss...
As for showers and weddings, I try to find something that the couple don't normally get. I usually will make up a basket of necessities for the couple and not spend more than $15-20.
Bridal: spatula, can opener, measuring cups, ladle, chip clips, wooden spoons, spices, pot holders, and kitchen towels in a laundry basket.
Baby: diaper rash cream, bottles, wipes, toys, nail clippers, washcloths, socks, and a baby blanket that I crocheted myself. Put all of that in a laundry basket with little to no holes so that baby socks don't fall out and get lost.
As for the never getting anything in return, that's only partially me. I got a lot of things for graduation gifts, but have yet to hold any showers (as I'm not pregnant or engaged). It sucks having to keep shelling out money for everything, but going to the showers helps me catch up with my friends and family that I don't normally get to see.
As for my wedding, I'm not inviting those people who didn't invite me to theirs. That's almost all of my distant relatives that I don't have to worry about.
loan
Do you ever get tired of giving out shower gifts?
First I am sorry for the loss of your fiance and I am sorry you were treated this way by people. Bridal Showers and weddings have become very commercialized and a money pit meaning you put so much money into it it can engulf or close in on you.
You are NOT obligated to buy anyone a gift that is a CHOICE not a demand and no one as the right to ask you for anything how cheesy is that?
My niece got married in June and I am only on one income and no I have not gotten her a wedding gift because I cant afford it now she will get one when my husband and I are more situated not a moment sooner.
It is no body's business whether you choose to give or not.
Don't let anyone give you a guilt trip over it. The younger generation that is getting married feel a sense of entitlement that is not your problem. Thank you for posting we all need to be reminded that Life or people don't owe any of us a thing.
Reply:yes , get tired also ,, and sorry about your fiance too. It seems like thats the only time when people remember your phone number or address,, Im like you quit going ,,,
Reply:I am so so sorry about your fiance. I think you have been used by many so called friends. Try to be more particular with whom you spend time from now on and if they , as you say, give you the third degree do not dignify that with any response . I find showers so so boring watching people open presents. I rarely go but do send a gift if it is a good friend. Otherwise i send only a card with best wishes ( most people) which is all one need do if one is not going.
Reply:I typically enjoy the showers and parties, and I try to give a good gift... but what I am most tired of is people EXPECTING things like that. Just because you are invited to a shower, they shouldnt automatically expect you to go... much less expect a gift from you. I agree that some people just get a little greedy during certain times because they expect gifts... "oh if I get $100 for my birthday, I'll get 5 times that much for my wedding!"... which is completely rude.
No matter what, you dont deserve to get the "3rd degree" for not showing... and if you do go, no one should saying ANYTHING about not getting a gift.
Reply:I'm sorry about the loss of your fiance. And I'm very sorry that your friends and family didn't send flowers or come to the funeral. I don't think that you sound bitter. It is natural to make the kind of comparison that you are making - that you're giving a lot of gifts and not getting anything in return.
But I can tell you that this kind of thing sort of waxes and wanes through your life. I got married at a very young age, and then had a baby six months later. So I was kind of the designated poor person in both my family and my husband's family, so had many showers and received many wedding and baby gifts. Throughout my twenties then, I felt kind of like I should reciprocate by giving lots of showers myself, which I did.
Now I'm in my fifties and sort of in the second wave. The children of our contemporaries, and our children's friends are now doing the wedding and baby thing. But in between my twenties and my fifties, I didn't do a whole lot of showers.
To be objective about it, you didn't get married, and it sounds like you haven't had a child, so that's why you haven't been the recipient of the shower thing. But be realistic. It's probably coming up for you in the near future.
I think that showers can be a lot of fun. You see a lot of people that you might not ordinarily see. I think it's fun to see what people brought as gifts. And they usually serve wine.
If you're not finding them to be fun right now, it's probably because you are still grieving. Take a break from them, but keep an open mind. You might decide that you want to start going to them again.
Reply:No, I don't. I love showers, and being able to be in on the celebrations for the brides! Giving gifts is from the heart, and one shouldn't be doing it in expectation of a return to yourself!
Sorry about your fiance, it must have been devastating...
Reply:No I love to shop.
Reply:Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your partner. I am sorry for your loss.
I typically only get shower invitations for close friends, so it's not a problem for me. However, in my (small, rural) hometown, people go absolutely nuts with showers. They invite every female wedding guest to bridal showers. A good friend of mine recently had over 300 people invited to her wedding shower when she had only asked for about 25 people. no kidding. I'm very glad I'm getting married 300 miles away!
People there feel the need to invite everyone who could possibly know the bride, groom, expectant mother, or any of their friends or family members. If they don't invite all those people, many of them get upset about it. However, I think it's obnoxious to invite everyone you know to a shower. I know that my Mom gets really tired of getting invitations to showers for people she barely knows.
If you're not close to the person getting married/having a baby, you are not obligated to attend the shower. Send a 'congratulations' card and wish 'em well.
Reply:No I am not
Your situation is tragic but why are you punishing other people. Ultimatley that only hurts you.
THe gift is supposed to represent your joy that they have found happiness.
What they did to you was wrong-did you express your feelings about this to anyone. I had a friend whose wedding was canceled the week before her marriage who didnt return the gifts that she received at her bridal shower. I thought she should have but I wasnt mad that she didnt. I havent been married and dont have any children so I havent received any gifts either-when my dad comes if I do I do and if idont i dont.
This will not impact me as I will not allow others to steal my
joy!
I hope this helps you even if you dont agree with it
Reply:I'm not tired of it, but then again I didn't go through what you've gone through. I'm so sorry about your loss. It's horrible your so-called friends and family are giving you a hard time about gifts and attending weddings instead of being there for you.
Reply:My gosh how sad regarding your fiancee.
I'm also 29 and I only have one girlfriend who's in her 30s and no longer planning to get married (she hasn't dated in years). As one who never understood the point of showers and social female gatherings, I would not subject myself to going to such parties - in fact, at my own wedding I chose not to have a bridal shower because I find them so loathesome.
Regardless of what others may say, if you don't feel comfortable going to such events, do not ever feel obligated.
Reply:you will find your gifts here
http://www.paintyourlife.com
Reply:sorry about your fiance, but you sound really bitter!
time to grow up!
Reply:Yes, I've been to 3 baby showers this year and 1 wedding. I have another baby shower next month...my aunt's.
Reply:My sympathy for your loss...
As for showers and weddings, I try to find something that the couple don't normally get. I usually will make up a basket of necessities for the couple and not spend more than $15-20.
Bridal: spatula, can opener, measuring cups, ladle, chip clips, wooden spoons, spices, pot holders, and kitchen towels in a laundry basket.
Baby: diaper rash cream, bottles, wipes, toys, nail clippers, washcloths, socks, and a baby blanket that I crocheted myself. Put all of that in a laundry basket with little to no holes so that baby socks don't fall out and get lost.
As for the never getting anything in return, that's only partially me. I got a lot of things for graduation gifts, but have yet to hold any showers (as I'm not pregnant or engaged). It sucks having to keep shelling out money for everything, but going to the showers helps me catch up with my friends and family that I don't normally get to see.
As for my wedding, I'm not inviting those people who didn't invite me to theirs. That's almost all of my distant relatives that I don't have to worry about.
loan
What do I do about my mother in law?
I always have Christmas eve at my house with the in laws. Like always my mother in law doesn't care about the kids.She doesn't call for birthdays or show up for the parties. She never brings anything for the two little ones either. OK no big deal well this year we had a death of a newborn(her great grand daughter)she never even called,sent a card or flowers to her grand daughter. She also never showed at the funeral.My husband always defends her thats the way she is. How do you think I should handle this when she shows up like the loving grandmother she is NOT.?I am so mad that she acts likes this. Maybe I should just play it up like we really don't care,but it hurts us and expecially the kids.
What do I do about my mother in law?
Embarass her. Buy gifts for the little ones and put her name on them as if they're from her. Buy her really cheesy gifts that show absolutely no thought or caring and label them from the kids. (Like a boxed toenail/fingernail clipper set and other assorted nonsense.)
As for the thoughtless way she seems to forget your family the moment she is not around them, I would make jokes around her about how when she's too senile to take care of herself, it will be a shame that she isn't closer to the rest of you, since that means she will have to be put in an old folk's home.
Maybe she'll get it.
Reply:honestly your all adults confront her in private and alone or maybe with your spouse but only the three dont make it a public thing!
Reply:lisa if i was you i would .tell your husban she is not welcome in your home..and that would be final
Reply:Dont show up or act sick, there is syrup of Ipcacap (Makes you vomit) or something like that spelling that I had one time that I had that I almost used.... I was so worried, but no longer.. I stand up to the woman.. I might use a Klonipin or so, but I still stand up to her her.. (KIDDING) I really stand up to her now, she is nothing more than an old lady now, why should you or I be scared? I do say "NO!" now, it just takes time, you get older and BETTER! But on the other hand, she is a good cook, and I do like her food.. so we visit often, we have worked out the differences... you can too, food is the best way.. it is a time tested and proven way.
Reply:Do you visit your Mom in Law? Do you ever have one on one time? Have you ever seen her when it was just you two? Old people are wierd. They're set in there ways. I wouldn't expect my Mom in law to come over and be all friendly if I hadn't taken the time to visit with her. My MIL was kind of cold to me too. She would look at me and wave her hand and address me as "who ever that is" But, I made it a point to stop by her house or call. I couldn't imagine being without her now. I think you need to start talking to her. As far as your loss goes, I'm sorry. Again, older people are set in their ways. Maybe she didn't know how to react to such a tragedy? Give her the benefit of the doubt and start being nice to her and finding ways to open the lines of communication.
Reply:Well you should tell her how you feel and how the kids feel 2 then she might understand and if she doesnt than its her problem and she needs 2 figure out how she can be better she will learn well good luck bye
Reply:i have a similiar issue with my mother inlaw she only comes to see my 2 yr old once a week for 5 minutes yet is always puttin her two cents in u need to cut his nails did he eat no im going to make him starve she doesnt come to his birthday parties doesnt even send a gift didnt even come to his christing party or his first birthday party but certain holidays she insists we share together like thanksgiving when ive had the same plans for years ive made many attempts to get her more involved and to be more caring but it gets me no where ive given up i guess some people are just stuck in there ways and nothing with change that not even the birth of her first and only grandson so my advice is just to not care anymore if she doesnt care that she is hurting her grandkids or family nothing will get her to care sorry
Reply:My MIL is similar although we've never experienced such a tragedy before either. If you hubby wont stand up there isnt too much you can do. You can let her know how you feel and how it makes the kids feel. You can try to explain your side of it - but with out the hubby's support.... who knows.
Frankly, I wouldnt invite her - again hard to do without the hubby backing you up. Best thing you can do is be the best possible hostess and smile like it doesnt matter. Talk to your kids as honestly as you can without putting grandma down. Maybe let them know that grandma loves them very much, but she has a hard time expressing it. Aside from that, enjoy your day with your kids and the rest of the family
Reply:I'd praise her for whatever attention she is giving to the kids. That will likely encourage her to give them more. If you instead complain and criticize her, she'll probably just stay away.
P.S. Consider the fact that your mother in law has some sort of psychological problem that is interfering with her ability to interact with your family. Perhaps a little compassion is necessary in this situation, and you and your husband might gently encourage her to get an evaluation.
Reply:Maybe she is starting to develop Alzheimer's and is forgetting things. Or maybe she is genuinely not interested. But either way, WHEN she shows love and affection at any time, you should be grateful, even if she doesn't do it as often as you would like.
Try not to take it personally, this is actually quite common with older folks.
Reply:I am sorry for your lost.
I do not like my mother in law or father in law, and I am sure I am not their favorite person. They live in Texas thank God! They did not bother to come meet my second child who is now two months. Maybe because they do not like me they feel they don't have to be part of my kids. Anyway, don't feel bad just do as she does. Trust me if she does not care you shouldn't either. Do not include her in your plans, no greeting cards, no calls. If your husband wants to, thats his problem to deal with not yours, just because he is her kid. Good luck and f*** her! Do not let this witch kill your holiday spirit!
Reply:I would ask her very nicely if she needs help choosing gifts for the little ones, or if she might like you to pick some gifts out for them. Even if she says no I would get a gift or two and put them under the tree from her. Maybe she will get the hint and even if she chooses to ignore it the kids won't be hurt and that's the main thing.
Reply:Your husband should not be defending her. He should be defending you and your children. You should give him an ultimatum that either he speaks up or he can go and live with her. Her behavior is inexcusable and it is up to him to let her know it.
Reply:leave her alone u don't rule the world
Reply:Let it be, be as civil as you can with her, and just deal with it, you can only change how you react to things not what people do.
Reply:Do the same. Tell the kids not to talk to her, don't go near her, don't buy her any gifts, and don't do anything for her. Serve dinner, and give her some nasty rotten food, say you figured you'd give her food to match her personality.
Reply:i feel so very sorry for you,what an awful person your mother in law seems to be.god how terrible it must be for you and as for your husband defending her i'll never know she doesnt deserve to have grandchildren.im really sorry i wouldnt show any kindness to her what so ever she doesnt deserve it.this is a drastic situation for you to be in.my heart goes out toyou.
Reply:OK, you need to talk to the mother in law yourself or do one of those things when you don't talk to them for a LOOONG time. If your husband gets mad, thats his problem that he doesn't want the best for his wife and kids. Talk to your in law and settle this for ALL
Reply:smack her with a turkey leg. it worked for me
Reply:She is your husband's mother. Ask yourself will anything change if I confront her over her actions ? Will it make my husband , my children, or me feel any better about the treatment ? The answer is probably no , you can't change people...your husband is willing to just accept the way his mother behaves and my advice is so should you. Just accept the fact that she will never be the Parent, mother-in-law , or grandparent that you want and expect her to be and nothing you say or do will change that, but you also don't have the right to confront her and cause a separation between your husband and his family/mother, If he's willing to accept her for what she is so should you.
Reply:To bad you didn't ask this question last week.
What I would do this year, is talk to your husband and tell him you aren't doing the Christmas Eve with the In laws this year, that you are just not up to it. Tell him you are exhausted, tell him anything then make him call his mother and tell her.
Honestly, there is no excuse for your MIL behavior. She is a cold hearted, self centered b*tch, I am sorry to say.
I am also sorry for your loss, I would have been by your side the whole way. I am not joking, how dare her???
Christmas Eve is 4 nigjts from tonight. You better start getting sick real quick.
Get yourself through Christmas without the In Laws this year, tell your husband you are depressed and miss your baby and you would just like to sit this year out. THEN HE HAS TO CALL HIS SELFISH MOTHER and tell her.
Go and see your parents on Christmas day if that is what you do. Just tell your husband after the kids open their presents you feel a little better and would like to get out, that is if your parents are local.
I think you're husband has to come up with something better than "that's just how she is". hey I have my own mother to contend with knowing "that's just how she is" and I dissolved my relationship with her 9 months ago.
She is MY mother and I won't tolerate her selfish, only thing that matters is HER attitude any longer.
So, you have every right to make this an offical NO IN LAW XMAS EVE Year...Take this off from her, just seeing her face would want to make me put rat poisen on her food.
Just kidding but you know what I mean?
good luck to you, try and have a happy holiday and once again I am sorry for your loss ~ Please just tell your husband and stay firm.......she can come over a few days later since she brings the kids nothing anyway. What does she want? A free meal? Then tell her to go to the local churches, they offer free meals on Christmas Eve.....
Reply:well, is she against your marriage to her son?.....if not, have you sat down and talked to her about it?....maybe she needs to know how you feel?....shoot her a email.....if all of that has been done, then she sounds alot like my father's family....they are not close, they never see each other, it is really sad, but there are people out there like that....as far as the newborn, that is very sad, maybe she doesn't know how to respond to it, being so emotionally withdrawn, she didn't know how to act, so she avoided it completely...
Reply:You should tell her.
Reply:Confront her about it. She needs to know she sucks big donkey balls.
Reply:I have a feeling that your mother-in-law is acting 'strange' because something happened in HER family when she was young and she 'developed' this 'not caring manner' to cover for the pain inside her. Just because she seems not to care doesn't mean that she doesn't care ... and at Christmas time, when we are celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus, who grew up to die on the CROSS for ALL of our sins (the sins of ALL of us) we should be nice and warm and loving, even if she can't be ... she's your mother-in-law, and she needs love even if she can't show love. Merry Christmas ... to ALL of you, and I'll pray for the lost baby ... and for you.
Reply:I have a Grandmother who is very similar...but she shows up for the parties showing off her new jewelry and then forgets to buy the kids a present.
As a Grandchild, I learned to deal with it, I don't mind when she forgets me, but it makes me very angry when she deliberately hurts my mother or my aunt.
I think you need to decide what it's worth to confront her. One one hand you would get to tell her exactly how you feel and it may make you feel better. And she would know that what she is doing is unacceptable and you won't tolerate it anymore. .
On the other hand you telling her could mean a huge fight between you and your husband and no real change in her behavior.
If you do confront her I think maybe you should do it in a less then threatening or angry way....maybe letting her know how hurt her grandchild was that she never called or came to the funeral (I'm so sorry for what your family has been through). Give her the big guilt trip.
I hope she gets better, but as someone who has seen the mean side of grandparents, I don't know if she ever will.
Reply:It sounds like your husband owes you an explanation. You should question your husband regarding her past behavior when he was growing up. I think something in her past may contribute to her behavior.
I know you want to build a relationship and I understand your plight. Take wallet size pictures of your kids. Place them in a christmas card, with an extensive note.
In the card write down your concern about her relationship with her grandkids,,but write if though your kids have written it. Ex,
"Dear Grandma, why can we spend some time with you? We love you"
Do this and see what happens. What's more important now is that you make sure your family have a wonderful Christmas. God bless.
Reply:Sometimes its better to not say anything, it is wrong what she has done your family %26amp; its is obvious she doesn't care much at all..
But i wouldn't say anything to her, she sounds like the type to ruin your christmas %26amp; cause dramas between you %26amp; your husband..
Its up to you but if christmas is really important to you for the kids then yeah have a word with her another time, but either way I think she will always cause trouble for you if you say something..
Good luck %26amp; merry christmas to you and your family...
Reply:Oh dear, she sounds like a real cold hearted beatch. However, I do not know the woman's background , maybe she never received love and does not know how to give it. There are reasons for why people are like they are. It is Christmas, you say she never shows up all year for anything, but does for Christmas. Does she bring the kids gifts then and act like the wonderful grandma....probably just a show, however, you need to be a better person than her. Treat her cordially and bite your tongue. You could always dig out some pics of the kids at their birthday party that she missed, maybe it will make her feel like a real chit, but I doubt it, but that would be a good way to get a dig in, especially if other people are around " Oh here are the pics of the kids b-days that you could not be at" and smile, like you are trying to involve her in their lives when you are really throwing it in her face.
Personally I would want to punch her as I am sure you would, but you need to be the person she is not and do not let her spoil the holiday.
Advice---let your hubby defend her--- don't argue about it, it is a no win battle, don't even bring it up, she is not worth the effort/arguement, you don't need a rocky relationship with your hubby over his mother, your family is your kids, you and your hubby and if she does not want to be a part of it , her loss.
Reply:she obviously doesnt care.you dont need her and the kids dont need her uncaring lifestyle. you dont deserve that at all. im sorry about the loss of the baby, just stay strong and raise the kids the way you would have liked to be raised.
Reply:I'm just wondering why any of you have a relationship with this woman? I wouldn't go anywhere near her nor would I subject the children to her. She's only a relative, that's all. It does not mean mandatory relationship. If she is unhealthy for you and your children stay away from her. She's your husbands mom, let him have the relationship with her. And if he has an issue with this, take him to counselling with you and let the therapist explain it to him. But stay away from her and keep your children away from her too. Good luck.
puppy teeth
What do I do about my mother in law?
Embarass her. Buy gifts for the little ones and put her name on them as if they're from her. Buy her really cheesy gifts that show absolutely no thought or caring and label them from the kids. (Like a boxed toenail/fingernail clipper set and other assorted nonsense.)
As for the thoughtless way she seems to forget your family the moment she is not around them, I would make jokes around her about how when she's too senile to take care of herself, it will be a shame that she isn't closer to the rest of you, since that means she will have to be put in an old folk's home.
Maybe she'll get it.
Reply:honestly your all adults confront her in private and alone or maybe with your spouse but only the three dont make it a public thing!
Reply:lisa if i was you i would .tell your husban she is not welcome in your home..and that would be final
Reply:Dont show up or act sick, there is syrup of Ipcacap (Makes you vomit) or something like that spelling that I had one time that I had that I almost used.... I was so worried, but no longer.. I stand up to the woman.. I might use a Klonipin or so, but I still stand up to her her.. (KIDDING) I really stand up to her now, she is nothing more than an old lady now, why should you or I be scared? I do say "NO!" now, it just takes time, you get older and BETTER! But on the other hand, she is a good cook, and I do like her food.. so we visit often, we have worked out the differences... you can too, food is the best way.. it is a time tested and proven way.
Reply:Do you visit your Mom in Law? Do you ever have one on one time? Have you ever seen her when it was just you two? Old people are wierd. They're set in there ways. I wouldn't expect my Mom in law to come over and be all friendly if I hadn't taken the time to visit with her. My MIL was kind of cold to me too. She would look at me and wave her hand and address me as "who ever that is" But, I made it a point to stop by her house or call. I couldn't imagine being without her now. I think you need to start talking to her. As far as your loss goes, I'm sorry. Again, older people are set in their ways. Maybe she didn't know how to react to such a tragedy? Give her the benefit of the doubt and start being nice to her and finding ways to open the lines of communication.
Reply:Well you should tell her how you feel and how the kids feel 2 then she might understand and if she doesnt than its her problem and she needs 2 figure out how she can be better she will learn well good luck bye
Reply:i have a similiar issue with my mother inlaw she only comes to see my 2 yr old once a week for 5 minutes yet is always puttin her two cents in u need to cut his nails did he eat no im going to make him starve she doesnt come to his birthday parties doesnt even send a gift didnt even come to his christing party or his first birthday party but certain holidays she insists we share together like thanksgiving when ive had the same plans for years ive made many attempts to get her more involved and to be more caring but it gets me no where ive given up i guess some people are just stuck in there ways and nothing with change that not even the birth of her first and only grandson so my advice is just to not care anymore if she doesnt care that she is hurting her grandkids or family nothing will get her to care sorry
Reply:My MIL is similar although we've never experienced such a tragedy before either. If you hubby wont stand up there isnt too much you can do. You can let her know how you feel and how it makes the kids feel. You can try to explain your side of it - but with out the hubby's support.... who knows.
Frankly, I wouldnt invite her - again hard to do without the hubby backing you up. Best thing you can do is be the best possible hostess and smile like it doesnt matter. Talk to your kids as honestly as you can without putting grandma down. Maybe let them know that grandma loves them very much, but she has a hard time expressing it. Aside from that, enjoy your day with your kids and the rest of the family
Reply:I'd praise her for whatever attention she is giving to the kids. That will likely encourage her to give them more. If you instead complain and criticize her, she'll probably just stay away.
P.S. Consider the fact that your mother in law has some sort of psychological problem that is interfering with her ability to interact with your family. Perhaps a little compassion is necessary in this situation, and you and your husband might gently encourage her to get an evaluation.
Reply:Maybe she is starting to develop Alzheimer's and is forgetting things. Or maybe she is genuinely not interested. But either way, WHEN she shows love and affection at any time, you should be grateful, even if she doesn't do it as often as you would like.
Try not to take it personally, this is actually quite common with older folks.
Reply:I am sorry for your lost.
I do not like my mother in law or father in law, and I am sure I am not their favorite person. They live in Texas thank God! They did not bother to come meet my second child who is now two months. Maybe because they do not like me they feel they don't have to be part of my kids. Anyway, don't feel bad just do as she does. Trust me if she does not care you shouldn't either. Do not include her in your plans, no greeting cards, no calls. If your husband wants to, thats his problem to deal with not yours, just because he is her kid. Good luck and f*** her! Do not let this witch kill your holiday spirit!
Reply:I would ask her very nicely if she needs help choosing gifts for the little ones, or if she might like you to pick some gifts out for them. Even if she says no I would get a gift or two and put them under the tree from her. Maybe she will get the hint and even if she chooses to ignore it the kids won't be hurt and that's the main thing.
Reply:Your husband should not be defending her. He should be defending you and your children. You should give him an ultimatum that either he speaks up or he can go and live with her. Her behavior is inexcusable and it is up to him to let her know it.
Reply:leave her alone u don't rule the world
Reply:Let it be, be as civil as you can with her, and just deal with it, you can only change how you react to things not what people do.
Reply:Do the same. Tell the kids not to talk to her, don't go near her, don't buy her any gifts, and don't do anything for her. Serve dinner, and give her some nasty rotten food, say you figured you'd give her food to match her personality.
Reply:i feel so very sorry for you,what an awful person your mother in law seems to be.god how terrible it must be for you and as for your husband defending her i'll never know she doesnt deserve to have grandchildren.im really sorry i wouldnt show any kindness to her what so ever she doesnt deserve it.this is a drastic situation for you to be in.my heart goes out toyou.
Reply:OK, you need to talk to the mother in law yourself or do one of those things when you don't talk to them for a LOOONG time. If your husband gets mad, thats his problem that he doesn't want the best for his wife and kids. Talk to your in law and settle this for ALL
Reply:smack her with a turkey leg. it worked for me
Reply:She is your husband's mother. Ask yourself will anything change if I confront her over her actions ? Will it make my husband , my children, or me feel any better about the treatment ? The answer is probably no , you can't change people...your husband is willing to just accept the way his mother behaves and my advice is so should you. Just accept the fact that she will never be the Parent, mother-in-law , or grandparent that you want and expect her to be and nothing you say or do will change that, but you also don't have the right to confront her and cause a separation between your husband and his family/mother, If he's willing to accept her for what she is so should you.
Reply:To bad you didn't ask this question last week.
What I would do this year, is talk to your husband and tell him you aren't doing the Christmas Eve with the In laws this year, that you are just not up to it. Tell him you are exhausted, tell him anything then make him call his mother and tell her.
Honestly, there is no excuse for your MIL behavior. She is a cold hearted, self centered b*tch, I am sorry to say.
I am also sorry for your loss, I would have been by your side the whole way. I am not joking, how dare her???
Christmas Eve is 4 nigjts from tonight. You better start getting sick real quick.
Get yourself through Christmas without the In Laws this year, tell your husband you are depressed and miss your baby and you would just like to sit this year out. THEN HE HAS TO CALL HIS SELFISH MOTHER and tell her.
Go and see your parents on Christmas day if that is what you do. Just tell your husband after the kids open their presents you feel a little better and would like to get out, that is if your parents are local.
I think you're husband has to come up with something better than "that's just how she is". hey I have my own mother to contend with knowing "that's just how she is" and I dissolved my relationship with her 9 months ago.
She is MY mother and I won't tolerate her selfish, only thing that matters is HER attitude any longer.
So, you have every right to make this an offical NO IN LAW XMAS EVE Year...Take this off from her, just seeing her face would want to make me put rat poisen on her food.
Just kidding but you know what I mean?
good luck to you, try and have a happy holiday and once again I am sorry for your loss ~ Please just tell your husband and stay firm.......she can come over a few days later since she brings the kids nothing anyway. What does she want? A free meal? Then tell her to go to the local churches, they offer free meals on Christmas Eve.....
Reply:well, is she against your marriage to her son?.....if not, have you sat down and talked to her about it?....maybe she needs to know how you feel?....shoot her a email.....if all of that has been done, then she sounds alot like my father's family....they are not close, they never see each other, it is really sad, but there are people out there like that....as far as the newborn, that is very sad, maybe she doesn't know how to respond to it, being so emotionally withdrawn, she didn't know how to act, so she avoided it completely...
Reply:You should tell her.
Reply:Confront her about it. She needs to know she sucks big donkey balls.
Reply:I have a feeling that your mother-in-law is acting 'strange' because something happened in HER family when she was young and she 'developed' this 'not caring manner' to cover for the pain inside her. Just because she seems not to care doesn't mean that she doesn't care ... and at Christmas time, when we are celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus, who grew up to die on the CROSS for ALL of our sins (the sins of ALL of us) we should be nice and warm and loving, even if she can't be ... she's your mother-in-law, and she needs love even if she can't show love. Merry Christmas ... to ALL of you, and I'll pray for the lost baby ... and for you.
Reply:I have a Grandmother who is very similar...but she shows up for the parties showing off her new jewelry and then forgets to buy the kids a present.
As a Grandchild, I learned to deal with it, I don't mind when she forgets me, but it makes me very angry when she deliberately hurts my mother or my aunt.
I think you need to decide what it's worth to confront her. One one hand you would get to tell her exactly how you feel and it may make you feel better. And she would know that what she is doing is unacceptable and you won't tolerate it anymore. .
On the other hand you telling her could mean a huge fight between you and your husband and no real change in her behavior.
If you do confront her I think maybe you should do it in a less then threatening or angry way....maybe letting her know how hurt her grandchild was that she never called or came to the funeral (I'm so sorry for what your family has been through). Give her the big guilt trip.
I hope she gets better, but as someone who has seen the mean side of grandparents, I don't know if she ever will.
Reply:It sounds like your husband owes you an explanation. You should question your husband regarding her past behavior when he was growing up. I think something in her past may contribute to her behavior.
I know you want to build a relationship and I understand your plight. Take wallet size pictures of your kids. Place them in a christmas card, with an extensive note.
In the card write down your concern about her relationship with her grandkids,,but write if though your kids have written it. Ex,
"Dear Grandma, why can we spend some time with you? We love you"
Do this and see what happens. What's more important now is that you make sure your family have a wonderful Christmas. God bless.
Reply:Sometimes its better to not say anything, it is wrong what she has done your family %26amp; its is obvious she doesn't care much at all..
But i wouldn't say anything to her, she sounds like the type to ruin your christmas %26amp; cause dramas between you %26amp; your husband..
Its up to you but if christmas is really important to you for the kids then yeah have a word with her another time, but either way I think she will always cause trouble for you if you say something..
Good luck %26amp; merry christmas to you and your family...
Reply:Oh dear, she sounds like a real cold hearted beatch. However, I do not know the woman's background , maybe she never received love and does not know how to give it. There are reasons for why people are like they are. It is Christmas, you say she never shows up all year for anything, but does for Christmas. Does she bring the kids gifts then and act like the wonderful grandma....probably just a show, however, you need to be a better person than her. Treat her cordially and bite your tongue. You could always dig out some pics of the kids at their birthday party that she missed, maybe it will make her feel like a real chit, but I doubt it, but that would be a good way to get a dig in, especially if other people are around " Oh here are the pics of the kids b-days that you could not be at" and smile, like you are trying to involve her in their lives when you are really throwing it in her face.
Personally I would want to punch her as I am sure you would, but you need to be the person she is not and do not let her spoil the holiday.
Advice---let your hubby defend her--- don't argue about it, it is a no win battle, don't even bring it up, she is not worth the effort/arguement, you don't need a rocky relationship with your hubby over his mother, your family is your kids, you and your hubby and if she does not want to be a part of it , her loss.
Reply:she obviously doesnt care.you dont need her and the kids dont need her uncaring lifestyle. you dont deserve that at all. im sorry about the loss of the baby, just stay strong and raise the kids the way you would have liked to be raised.
Reply:I'm just wondering why any of you have a relationship with this woman? I wouldn't go anywhere near her nor would I subject the children to her. She's only a relative, that's all. It does not mean mandatory relationship. If she is unhealthy for you and your children stay away from her. She's your husbands mom, let him have the relationship with her. And if he has an issue with this, take him to counselling with you and let the therapist explain it to him. But stay away from her and keep your children away from her too. Good luck.
puppy teeth
What can I do..?
I have a great friend who just lost her young daughter to SIDS. What can I do to help her cope or help her with anything without asking?
I've gotten flowers for her burial and attended both the wake and the funeral. I also intend on visiting the site..I just don't know what to say to her to help her. It's tough..I'm not good with words. I call her once every other day to check up on her and this just happened very recently.
What can I do..?
I think you are doing great so far. Let her initiate any conversations about the baby, some want to talk about their loss or the child, some don't want to think about it at all. Never force her to talk about it but don't stop her if she does. Keep in touch, take her out for coffee, groceries, lunch, to the park, anything to get her out of the house once in a while. If she seems to be going off the deep end don't hesitate to mention grief counseling, in fact contact the local hospital to find out when and where the meetings are so that if she is open to the idea you have the information handy. If she's resistant but you are concerned about her behavior the hospital or members of the grief group can tell you what you can do to help her. In fact if the meetings are open to the public you can go and talk to the members before and after the meeting for their suggestions. Basically you just need to be there for her and it sounds like you are doing that, keep it up!
Reply:You are a good friend. Just let her know that if she needs anything (or just talk), you are there for her. If you live close to her, try going out with her, change of scenery, doing some kind of project will help her grieve. Sitting idle at home alone is very very bad. So go shopping with her, join a book club, health club.. something to keep busy.
Reply:You're doing great with calling. I think you should keep doing that for a long, long, time.
Why do you ask how you can help her without asking? I don't think that asking her what she needs would be such a bad thing. Maybe she has something she does need, that you could offer, that she doesn't feel that she can ask. I think it would be okay if you ask her. Do you live near her? If so, you should ask in person. Just a simple "What can I do for you? Is there anything you need?" would mean a lot.
Good luck. Keep calling. :o) She'll never forget her daughter, of course, and it will mean so much to her if she knows you aren't forgetting, either.
Reply:I think the first poster said something very true; it would be so considerate to ask her what you can do or what she needs. Dealing with a death in a friend's family can be so hard because you want to do the right thing, but don't know what that thing is. By asking and letting her tell you what she needs (maybe just someone to cry with or hug, even) you will take this huge weight off her shoulders and your own. She may not be asking for help but she would probably be thankful to have it offered.
You sound like a great friend and I'm sorry for the loss in your life. So very sad.
Reebok
I've gotten flowers for her burial and attended both the wake and the funeral. I also intend on visiting the site..I just don't know what to say to her to help her. It's tough..I'm not good with words. I call her once every other day to check up on her and this just happened very recently.
What can I do..?
I think you are doing great so far. Let her initiate any conversations about the baby, some want to talk about their loss or the child, some don't want to think about it at all. Never force her to talk about it but don't stop her if she does. Keep in touch, take her out for coffee, groceries, lunch, to the park, anything to get her out of the house once in a while. If she seems to be going off the deep end don't hesitate to mention grief counseling, in fact contact the local hospital to find out when and where the meetings are so that if she is open to the idea you have the information handy. If she's resistant but you are concerned about her behavior the hospital or members of the grief group can tell you what you can do to help her. In fact if the meetings are open to the public you can go and talk to the members before and after the meeting for their suggestions. Basically you just need to be there for her and it sounds like you are doing that, keep it up!
Reply:You are a good friend. Just let her know that if she needs anything (or just talk), you are there for her. If you live close to her, try going out with her, change of scenery, doing some kind of project will help her grieve. Sitting idle at home alone is very very bad. So go shopping with her, join a book club, health club.. something to keep busy.
Reply:You're doing great with calling. I think you should keep doing that for a long, long, time.
Why do you ask how you can help her without asking? I don't think that asking her what she needs would be such a bad thing. Maybe she has something she does need, that you could offer, that she doesn't feel that she can ask. I think it would be okay if you ask her. Do you live near her? If so, you should ask in person. Just a simple "What can I do for you? Is there anything you need?" would mean a lot.
Good luck. Keep calling. :o) She'll never forget her daughter, of course, and it will mean so much to her if she knows you aren't forgetting, either.
Reply:I think the first poster said something very true; it would be so considerate to ask her what you can do or what she needs. Dealing with a death in a friend's family can be so hard because you want to do the right thing, but don't know what that thing is. By asking and letting her tell you what she needs (maybe just someone to cry with or hug, even) you will take this huge weight off her shoulders and your own. She may not be asking for help but she would probably be thankful to have it offered.
You sound like a great friend and I'm sorry for the loss in your life. So very sad.
Reebok
What the...?
A well known cardiologist died, and an elaborate funeral was planned. A huge heart made of plastic, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened up, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart to be buried. At that point one of the mourners burst into laughter. When confronted he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral. I'm a gynaecologist!"
What the...?
gross
Reply::6)
loan
What the...?
gross
Reply::6)
loan
For the Movie Gurus: OLD MOVIE. What's the name of this movie?
I'm sorry. This is probably going to be really confusing. Well this movie I'm thinking of has the plot of a orange tabby cat that has 9 lives. It follows him through the lives he uses, I think. There is a young blonde girl as his owner. I thought the young girl was Hayley Mills, but I searched the net %26amp; couldn't find the title. I remember a couple of scenes. Like they had a cat funeral with the cat on this blue bed surrounding by flowers %26amp; there was a man playing bagpipes. %26amp; then once the cat had passed on he was going up these endless stairs with a whole bunch of cats sitting on them. There was like a statue at the top of a cat or possibly a actual cat.
Ah I would reallllllly appreciate if you could help me out here. It's been in my head for about a month now. Both me %26amp; my friends can't think of it.
For the Movie Gurus: OLD MOVIE. What's the name of this movie?
It is definitely Thomasina. The girl in the movie was not Hayley Mills. It was Karen Dotrice. (She was the same little girl who was in Mary Poppins).
That movie brings back memories!
I looked it up and the full title of the movie is "The Three Lives of Thomasina"
Reply:That Darn Cat!
Reply:is it disneys "that darn cat"with dean jones?
Reply:Hi : ) It sounds like a 1964 Disney movie called "The Three Lives of Thomasina". I hope that's it! Good luck!
Reply:tabathina? something like that. the many lives of tabathina? the nine lives of tabathina? something along those lines. thomisina? tomisina? i'm close, i know.
c++
Ah I would reallllllly appreciate if you could help me out here. It's been in my head for about a month now. Both me %26amp; my friends can't think of it.
For the Movie Gurus: OLD MOVIE. What's the name of this movie?
It is definitely Thomasina. The girl in the movie was not Hayley Mills. It was Karen Dotrice. (She was the same little girl who was in Mary Poppins).
That movie brings back memories!
I looked it up and the full title of the movie is "The Three Lives of Thomasina"
Reply:That Darn Cat!
Reply:is it disneys "that darn cat"with dean jones?
Reply:Hi : ) It sounds like a 1964 Disney movie called "The Three Lives of Thomasina". I hope that's it! Good luck!
Reply:tabathina? something like that. the many lives of tabathina? the nine lives of tabathina? something along those lines. thomisina? tomisina? i'm close, i know.
c++
Get real answers from millions of real people.?
Help me!!
Problem is I am the guy and its my mom....Treats my wife like dirt, and my wife has been nothing but nice...called me up 8 AM the day after my wifes dad's funeral got mad at me asking to exactly describe the flowers she sent and what a "nice" gesture it was...
Anyhow we live 5 minutes from each other and my wifes family is 6 hrs away...this year I am spending T-giving and Xmas away....My mom says I am wrong and has said some hurtful and nasty things about my wifes family...I am 35 years old...what do I tell her? if I stand up to her, she will probably be even more vindictive but I hate giving in
Get real answers from millions of real people.?
Whatever you do don't give in. You are 35, it is time to act like the adult man you are. When you got married, your wife became the #1 woman in your life and she can't handle it. She sounds like a controlling woman. Don't feed into it. She can only be vindictive as long as she knows it affects you. Once she sees that you don't care, she will either disown you, or stop. If she disowns you, it is because she is selfish and has nothing to do with you.
Reply:it is not wrong for you to do what you want to do. this year, i am staying home for Tgiving and Xmas. if my parents and in laws want to see me or my family, they know where i live.
Reply:I've got to agree with the first two answers. Your wife is being nice to her, and she's responding by being a self centered b****. She's jealous of the woman who took you away. She's going to be nasty and vindictive because she knows it works on you. It will be hard, but just don't let her get to you. Just be kind to her when you see her, but ignore the meanness. If she sees it isn't working, hopefully, she'll stop.
Reply:Get a spine...it's hard to have to choose between your wife and mother, but your mother, in my opinion, is making it easy by being a *****!!! Tell her you're going, and that's that!!!
Reply:I understand what your going through. My husbands family does not like me either. I have done nothing but nice and good things for them. I have tried to be a wonderful daughter-in-law. I have been married to my hubby for 13 years now. I am no closer to them than I was the first day we all met. My husband has taken a stand for me years ago. I can not even put flowers on my husbands mothers grave from our family, (hubbies own mother) His family went and took them off and added their own. I made them with my own hands to make my husband happy, and to help the family to realize that I am not the monster they make me out to be. Unfortunately to no avail. I will not be spending and holidays with any of them either. My husbands does not want to either. I know this hurts him, but I am not the culprit that does not except them. We will spend it with my loving family, where they love my husband just like they love me. I hope you follow in our footsteps and take a stand for your wife. If this is the way they want to be, then let them be. Don't give in. Your wife has to come first in your life. She is the other half of you. Best of luck. Try to have happy holidays.
yahoo finance
Problem is I am the guy and its my mom....Treats my wife like dirt, and my wife has been nothing but nice...called me up 8 AM the day after my wifes dad's funeral got mad at me asking to exactly describe the flowers she sent and what a "nice" gesture it was...
Anyhow we live 5 minutes from each other and my wifes family is 6 hrs away...this year I am spending T-giving and Xmas away....My mom says I am wrong and has said some hurtful and nasty things about my wifes family...I am 35 years old...what do I tell her? if I stand up to her, she will probably be even more vindictive but I hate giving in
Get real answers from millions of real people.?
Whatever you do don't give in. You are 35, it is time to act like the adult man you are. When you got married, your wife became the #1 woman in your life and she can't handle it. She sounds like a controlling woman. Don't feed into it. She can only be vindictive as long as she knows it affects you. Once she sees that you don't care, she will either disown you, or stop. If she disowns you, it is because she is selfish and has nothing to do with you.
Reply:it is not wrong for you to do what you want to do. this year, i am staying home for Tgiving and Xmas. if my parents and in laws want to see me or my family, they know where i live.
Reply:I've got to agree with the first two answers. Your wife is being nice to her, and she's responding by being a self centered b****. She's jealous of the woman who took you away. She's going to be nasty and vindictive because she knows it works on you. It will be hard, but just don't let her get to you. Just be kind to her when you see her, but ignore the meanness. If she sees it isn't working, hopefully, she'll stop.
Reply:Get a spine...it's hard to have to choose between your wife and mother, but your mother, in my opinion, is making it easy by being a *****!!! Tell her you're going, and that's that!!!
Reply:I understand what your going through. My husbands family does not like me either. I have done nothing but nice and good things for them. I have tried to be a wonderful daughter-in-law. I have been married to my hubby for 13 years now. I am no closer to them than I was the first day we all met. My husband has taken a stand for me years ago. I can not even put flowers on my husbands mothers grave from our family, (hubbies own mother) His family went and took them off and added their own. I made them with my own hands to make my husband happy, and to help the family to realize that I am not the monster they make me out to be. Unfortunately to no avail. I will not be spending and holidays with any of them either. My husbands does not want to either. I know this hurts him, but I am not the culprit that does not except them. We will spend it with my loving family, where they love my husband just like they love me. I hope you follow in our footsteps and take a stand for your wife. If this is the way they want to be, then let them be. Don't give in. Your wife has to come first in your life. She is the other half of you. Best of luck. Try to have happy holidays.
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