Monday, August 3, 2009

What should I do?

I am on a biz trip now and I am scheduled to see a buyer tomorrow, about 2 weeks ago his son suddenly died and my company send one peron to the funeral but I didn't attend. I was wondering when I meet him tomorrow should I bring flowers to him? and ask him how is he holding up? OR should I even not to mention about it, pretent nothing happened? I am chinese and I have no idea about the furnal traditions in America. Thank you

What should I do?
I wouldn't mention it.
Reply:When you meet him just say, "I'm was so sorry to hear about your son." This would be the appropriate and most gracious gesture on your parts. Cards or flowers are not necessary.





A very charming gesture may be to tell him briefly what you do in your culture, something like in my country we believe we will all be together again n the afterlife. Something positive not anything gruesome.








You may wish to find out if they are requesting donations to a charity in honor of their son, find out if the office made a donation, then mention it to him.





If not, you could ask him if there is charity you can make a donation to in honor of his son. Unless you have something pertinent to add like, I had the same thing happen in my family or isn't it tragic that too many young people have died in this same manner. Then, unless he mentions it, move on.





People make the mistake of thinking it shouldn't be mentioned because it may make the person feel bad, but it's just the opposite. People want to feel their loved one is being remembered and honored.
Reply:you dont have to give him flowers, but a card would be nice.
Reply:If this client is someone you have met before then I would simply say that you heard about his son's passing and that you are sorry for his loss and that you regret not being able to attend the funeral. It is also customary for people to say if there is anything the bereaved needs, they should let you know.





If this client is someone you have not met before then I would let the bereaved person bring up the situation or not. It was their loss and if they want to talk about it, they will. Let them take the lead in this.
Reply:I wouldn't bring flowers but a simply telling him your sorry about his son will do. If you have other meetings planned besides tomorrow I would also let him know your flexible should something arise and he needs to reschedule an appointment with you. That might help him to know if him or his wife are having a bad day and need to be at home they have that option. Ignoring the fact his son has passed away would be rude and hurtful to him. Also make it kinda brief it would be real easy for him to break down if your conversation is too long, don't tell him about what your culture does. It might just be too much at that moment same with a card.
Reply:flowers aren't necessary - give them your condolences and apoliogize for being able to attend the funeral if you were asked to come.
Reply:It would probably be best just to offer your condolences and then move on with your business. He probably won't want to talk about it, as it is likely a very sensitive subject, but ignoring it might make you seem inconsiderate.
Reply:I would not bring flowers. But, I would acknowledge his son's death and express your sorrow to him. If you were unable to attend the funeral, apologize for not being in attendence to the funeral.
Reply:Flowers nor a card are necessary. You might bring up the subject by offering your condolences and ask if there is anything you could do to help him. Making an excuse for not attending the funeral is not necessary either. Chances are he was so distraught he couldn't even tell you who was there or not.
Reply:A simple "sorry to hear about your loss" is all you need. Then, you can get on with business.
Reply:I agree that flowers aren't necessary. Just let the person know you've been thinking of him and his family and you're sorry you couldn't attend the funeral.





Don't ignore it, that may offend the person.





Good Luck!
Reply:I would mention it...offer your condolences but keep it very brief. I'm sure it's an EXTREMELY difficult subject for him to even think about, let alone discuss.





I don't think you'd want to pretend nothing happened because that could come across as cold and uncaring.





Just don't go overboard. Good luck!
Reply:Funeral traditions will vary depending on the persons religious beliefs. No flowers should be presented.





When you meet him, express your condolences on his loss. You can, if you wish, ask him how he and the rest of his family are holding up.
Reply:oh you have to mention it.


to lose a child is absolutely devastating.


the natural order of life is for the parent to go first and the loss of a child is beyond most folk's comprehension.


flowers aren't necessary but certainly offer your condolences on the loss of his son. and IF you are comfortable with him, and the idea, a quick hug would be appropriate. AGAIN that is only if you are comfortable with him. you don't mention if you have met with him once before or if this is a regular customer that you are on a 'friendly' basis with.
Reply:Just shake his hand and tell him/her "My condolences for the lost of your loved one". Then go on with business. Trust me, they aren't gonna want to talk about it at work. It's still to new and painful, so he/she is gonna want to just go on with business.
Reply:Just tell him you are with him, and support him, and make him pass a good time so he dose not remember that sad day.



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