Monday, August 3, 2009

Death of an infant?

A coworker had his first baby girl August 5th. She was 2 1/2 months premature, but was doing great! She was breathing on her own, but was going to stay in the nicu until a couple weeks before her actual due date. On August 13 she passed away. Apparently she had a hole in her intestines and her vitals were too low to operate and she died early Monday morning. I feel so bad for my coworker and his girlfriend. This was his first baby and her 3rd. As a company we sent flowers and we're collecting money and putting it in a card for them. I feel like I should do more for them. I know there isn't anything I can say or do, but I feel like I should get them something and I can't for the life of me think of anything... They don't have any family or friends here, except for coworkers. I was thinking about a memory box or something. The funeral is today. Does anyone have any ideas???

Death of an infant?
I think what you are doing is enough for now. Just be there for them but don't be too there. I lost my son and I know everyone is different but I needed time with my husband and to be alone and it seemed like I had no time for us. Also, you don't want to give them anything too sentimental just yet. They will appreciate memories and things more after they have had time to heal and get over the initial shock. Like I said, maybe it's just me. The hospital sent me home with pictures, and the footprints, handprints, etc. I looked at them a lot and just cried. It was so hard. Maybe make a donation to a charity in the babies name. That's what my co-workers did. It meant a lot.
Reply:I think you did a great thing. That is one of the hardest things to go through! Your a great friend! Report It

Reply:A memory box is a good idea. Other than that show your support by coming to the funeral and being there if they need something.
Reply:People take the loss of a child (or any loved one) differently. Some just want to be left alone, while others want people around during this tragic time.

It is hard to say how your coworker feels, thus making it hard for you to figure out what you can do for them.

Right now, I think that you should let them know that you are going to be there for them.
Reply:a memory box, so that they could put the things they have from the baby in their to save.

I think any box from a craft store would do.
Reply:a memory box sounds nice. a friend of mine has her daughter the day before my son was born in the same hospital only she was 23 1/2 weeks pregnant and i was 36. i felt a conection with this baby everytime i went to go visit her in the nicu. she passed away at 2 weeks and one day old and i was there with my friend and the baby as she passed. it made me very depressed since this was both of our first child and my hormones were going crazy and i didn't think it was fair i just cried. we egot somem white balloons together and at her funeral we let them all go in the air with one pink and one yellow to represent mommy and daddy. it was beautiful. i wouuld right her name on them all
Reply:Be their friend.Buy a frame for her photo that they can have up in their home.
Reply:maybe just flowers and a shoulder for them both to cry on if they need it just send them both a personal note from you letting them know if they need anything you will be there for them
Reply:I'd just consider a really touching card with your personal (handwritten) sentiments added to it...let them know you are there for them...and consider cooking a meal for them. There isn't much else you can do but make them aware that you're there for them.
Reply:Wow - that's tough. My heart goes out to them. I think you are being a great friend. The memory box sounds like a wonderful idea. I would include a card offering your love and support. Words can make a difference! Beyond that, the only things I can think of are: making a tribute in the baby's name to a charity such as the March of Dimes, or to the hospital she was treated at; making dinner for them; or a framed verse or poem.


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